Part 16 - more than friends
*three months past*
I’ve been living with Jay and I really like it in our flat, well bunch of flats, the boys decided they couldn’t live to far apart so we bought an flat with two floors but the stairs ain’t shared by other people, the others all did the same but they were only a round the corners of the street, our flat thing was on top of the building so the top room/my room was were the attic would be. I loved it up there I had a big window across the roof that i could walk out of and stand on the edge of the roof, I didn’t do that often though because I’m scared of heights, but i’d look out of it and you can see the cathedral and it’s green, the shops around the green and people having pick-nics on the green, it was lined with willow trees and children would go and play ‘dens’ down there, it may sound creepy but I’d love to watch them. Because of this room I liked my photography and I take pictures of what’s out my window and then stick them up all-round my room, Jay would come up and have a look at times, he’d sit on my sofa and talk to me about them, if I was feeling low he’d say I should be a photographer, but I don’t know if I’m good enough.
Over the past three months Jay has had about 7 or 8 one night stands, I don’t know what going on with him. When we first started living together it was awkward because Jay brought home a girl whilst I was revising for uni and she was like ‘what the hell is she doing here?!’ and it blew over but then they had sex and so I was sat there trying to revise but I gave up and went shopping. When I got back Jay was in the kitchen and apologised to me then she came out in one of his tops and some baggy trousers, she just stood there, most awkward moment of my life! But recently he’s been at it with loads of them! I think I’ve lost count, it strange almost every night there was a new girl, either they’re prostitutes or he’s getting over someones but who?! Or he’s incredibly horny. I have no idea whether to speak to him or not.
Right now I am talking photo’s of the cathedral, I’m on the green and the sun is shining, I left the house because Jay was at it again with another girl last night and I don’t want her to wake to awkwardness like the rest of them.
It’s so strange about Jay though, I don’t see him anymore, all he does is work, come home, go out and pick up and girl and the same over! whats his problem? Doesn’t he like me or what? It’s like he’s avoiding me, I’m a bit pissed off now because I just stay at home alone. I think i might start to do more of my own stuff now, y’know go out with the girls when he’s out so I’m not as much as a loner.
I also don’t see the girls as more because Amber’s living with Max and they’re going strong as ever, Meg and Siva won’t leave each others side it’s so cute, Iona and Tom are in a flat living together those two are hilarious, Tyler and Nathan are practically joined at the hip and spend all day everyday together. Then there’s me and Jay, just two friends. I find it sad that Jay won’t settle with someone, I want the best for him and as long ad he’s happy I’ll be happy for him, all he does when were out as a group is drink and talk to me, I think he’s depressed sometimes I look into his eyes and see a dim glow, it’s like a potential happiness just something’s blocking it and it won’t shine. I know that he broke up with his Ex badly, maybe he hasn’t got over her yet, although that was a long long time ago. Her name was Tara and, from what jays tolled me, she seemed lovely at first but she was using him for money and fame, she got him into depts because she was spending like mad. One day he caught her cheating with some guy, Jay was crushed and couldn’t trust a girl again, he’d lock himself in his room and wouldn’t specialise with anyone not even his family! But when he got a bit more famous he found loads of girls loved him for his talent and not just how good-looking or rich he is, he still didn’t trust anyone but he found a reason to be happy.
I am wondering back to the flat now,
It’s 10 and I think she might be up now. I got my key and let myself in the block, there’s two stairs to our door. I wondered up and passed a girl on the way down I thought I’d take the opportunity to ask her about why she was there…
“err excuse me but the guy you were just with…well…did you…get payed?”
Oh my fuck! What the hell Connie?!
“p-payed?! What! Who do y’…NO!”
she slapped me and ran down and out there stairs. My cheek was stinging, that was a hell of a slap, ok maybe I was a bit offensive.
I got to the door and let my self in. With no surprise Jay was probably in his room. That was basically his cave, he’d eat, sleep, watch TV, do work and seen as he had an ensuite he even washed in there, but he rarely washed his clothes or washed anything to be honest. Every time I walked past i’d get a horrible stink of old food and dirty clothes.
I think it’s time to confront him. I pit my keys on the counter, in the kitchen next to the stairs to my room. I hung my coat on the end pole of the stairs and put my shoes next to the wall. I walk up to his door and It stank!
Becks the best BFF ever! Is coming round and we’re going shopping and i need to talk to her about my relation ship. it’s going to be awesome! I had to make sure Tyler wasn’t around when she came, you know what girls are like, It could turn nasty and Tyler would like ‘omg are you cheating on me?’ and things would get complicated and that’s just not what I want! But I know Tyler and I think she would ask who Becks was first, and Becks is my best friend so it’d be weird if there was anything between us.
At the moment Tyler is getting ready to go to her parents for the day so they can catch up, probably going to talk about me! hahaha right now I’m running all over the place trying to find my phone, I hope I haven’t done a Jay!
Tyler called from downstairs.
“oh thank god!”
I threw my hands up in the air and ran downstairs and gave Tyler a big hug. I lifted her up making her squeal with shock and laughter and spun her around. I popped her down and she handed me my phone.
I gave her a big kiss on her neck before running back up stairs to our room and shoving my phone in my pocket along with my keys and wallet from the bedside table.
I shut the flat door and locked up. I turned around a gave Tyler a snog before putting her in her taxi and waving goodbye. I ran over to my car, I’ve passed my test now! Yay, and hopped in. I drove to Starbucks where I’d meet Becks.
I arrived at Starbucks and as I sat down a attractive girl walked over to me…
I said looking her up and down…
She said with joy. I’m guessing she is a fan.
I asked after a while. I was getting inpatient now.
“do you want me to sign something or give you my number because I can’t I’m taken and I will just give me a pen”
“Nath it’s me!”
She said if I was the dumbest person on the planet.
I said surprised.
“yeah, dumb-ass! Who else?”
“a fan. Don’t call me dumb, you’ve changed so much! Your so pretty.”
She had her hair down and it was waved, she had subtle make up on and purple eyeshadow to match what she was wearing. She looked amazing.
“so you want anything?”
“yeah can I have a tea?”
“sure. I’ll get one too.”
I got up and walked to the counter.
I sat down with mine and Becks tea. I slid hers to her.
“so what did you want to do?”
She asked me as I sipped my tea.
“I thought we could go shopping and a talk, you know catch up. I haven’t seen you in years!”
“I know! Look at you with your fame and you career. You finally got what you’ve want after all these years nath, I’m so proud of you.”
“aww thank you, what about you?! What are you doing now? Achieved your dream?”
I asked hopeful for a good answer.
“yes!! I have! I’m a model! Took me a while to get where I am but I did it I finally did it!”
“aww that’s great news! Well done, I’m proud of you too!”
We picked up our drinks and went to go shopping. We walked onto the high street and we popped into a couple of shops before the question popped up that I really wanted to know…
“so Nath you in a relationship?”
She asked whilst we were in Republic and she was looking at a dress.
“yes, in fact I wanted to ask if I should take a step further. I need your advice.”
“hmmm ok, so how serious are you then?”
“like pretty serious, we live together, on our own with out the boys. We’ve been together for a while and…I think that I…love her.”
She asked surprised.
“well I don’t really know what love is and whether I have it.”
She turned to me and stopped dead in her tracks.
“love is indescribable, you feel so passionate about that person that you can’t let them go, that you’d die for them, that you…well…you’d spend every minute of forever with them if you could.”
I paused, a little shocked.
“oh…then I’m in love”
I stepped towards Jays door and my heart started to beat fast, it was strange. I raised my hand and knocked. I waited a while as I heard thumps towards the door. The door swung open to see a scruffy Jay in a state.
“RIGHT I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS ROOM NOW!”
I demanded, the only way I was going to get him over this phase was too clean him up myself.
Jay moaned with his head down.
“because your room stinks and you stink. Your rooms a tip and your a mess….and Jay if you ever want to see a respectable woman who you could stay with forever in this room then you and the room have to be cleaned up.”
Jay looked dumb and he shuffled aside to let me through.
“how you gunna clean this up then?”
Jay asked shyly.
“well I’ll start by putting you in the shower and putting your clothes in the wash. You bed sheets YOU can put in the wash. I am not touching them! And then will open some windows and get rid of what ever is making this room smell…ok?”
Jay said quietly.
“oh come on Jay. What’s wrong with you? You couldn’t at least wash this?!”
I said as I found a sticky sock and a magazine next to his bed. The poor sock.
“right you get in the-
“GET IN THE SHOWER YOU DOG!”
I yelled and giggled as he shuffled towards the bath room.
I started to throw clothes into a big pile in the door way. I threw random things off the floor into boxes. I opened the curtains and windows to get rid of the smell. I ducked under the bed to see mouldy pizza and beer cans. I saw a bin full of beer cans.
“McGUINESS!!!” I shouted at the top of my voice.
He was starting to make me mad now.
—-*finish cleaning Jays room*—-
I was officially done. Jays room looked clean as ever and I had just put his new bed clothes on. I managed to take the old dirty smelly bed clothes off using gloves. I ain’t touching what ever went into those!
His room looked brand new. Jay wondered in with just a towel round his waist. I looked at him, he is pretty fit to be honest. Omg what am I thinking he is my best friend. Oh Christ!
He stepped towards his clean clothes that I laid on his bed.
“that’s ok, I was getting sick of that smell and the mess.”
“yes Jay this room stank! I guess you didn’t know because you locked yourself in here and got used to it.”
“oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad.”
“nevermind Jay, just get dressed”
I walked out shutting the door behind me, I sat on the sofa and sighed. What was wrong with him? Why’d he have to lock himself in his room?
I sat there staring into space just thinking for a while. I felt some warm ruff hands slowly start to massage my shoulders. I kind of relaxed into it and shut my eyes, I just slipped into a trance and forgot all my worries. It was so nice. The hands eventually stopped and I heard footsteps walk around me and they stopped in front of me. I still had my eyes shut. I slowly opened them, i saw Jay crouched down in front of me, he put his hands on my knees.
I opened my mouth to speak but Jay put his finger to it. I slowly closed it not sure of what was going on.
“Connie…there is something I have to tell you.”
I slowly nodded. Not knowing what he was on about.
“I…well this is hard to say so…”
He slid onto the sofa next to me. I felt my heart pump as he edged closer. He turned to me and lent in. I closed my eyes slowly. I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do or not but I did it anyway.
I felt his soft lips touch mine. He slowly pressed further into the kiss. He got more and more passionate as he slipped his tongue in. He slowly lent forward more forcing me to fall back on the sofa. He put his arms each side of me but never leaving my lips once. I felt his soft curls and I felt his hand slide up to my shoulder…
Wait. This could be weird if it goes any further. Wait it’s already weird now because I’m thinking its going to be weird. Oh god. Fuuuuck!
I whispered to Jay.
He replied a little shocked and he sat up.
“i don’t want it to be weird.”
“what do you mean weird? Why would it be weird?”
“because I don’t really know you. And I’ve not thought of you like this way before and…I’m well…I’m shit.”
“we can get to know each other more if we spend more time together and you’ll come round to it. And who said you were shit?!”
He said shocked. I gave him a blank look.
“you should really forget about him and don’t listen to what he said”
Jay said holding my hand. I nodded.
“so what are we now then?”
I asked unsure if we were best friends, if he was using me, or if we wear taking it a step further.
“more than friends.”
Jay said with a smile.
“so back to best friends?”
“no. I want you to be my girlfriend.”
I said happy I had an answer. But there was still one question playing on my mind…
“Jay, why did you sleep with so many women?”
He looked down.
“I…I didn’t know what I was doing most nights. I was drunk mainly but the main reason is you.”
I was interrupted
“-I felt as though I was wrong feeling so passionate about you, I was thinking that it was just a crush and I have to get over it and sleep with some other people.”
“oh, Jay that was a stu-“
“-stupid Idea I know but that’s what I did. But now I feel guilty because you went to all that trouble with my room and I just abused those women.”
“oh Jay. Come ‘ere”
I gave Jay a big hug. I kissed him on the neck and put him at arms length.
“come on you soppy git. Let’s go out for dinner I can’t be fucked to do more washing.”
Jay jumped he was a lot happier now he’d got some stuff of his chest.
We decried to go to the chippy down the road, well I go to but we asked them to deliver. Jays decided to watch a film, I was going to pick Just My Luck because I like that film and I’m superstitious as well but I hated that film because I don’t believe in all superstitions. Jay picked Mission Impossible (The first one) I like action films so we agreed.
Tonight was going to be a good night.
Feedback welcome. I hope it was good. I’m going to try and get more updates a week. You can suggest ideas for your character if you’d like. Thanks :) Xxx